Hahaha, just kidding! I am actually an awesome writer, just ask any of the five people who've read my book. It's not that I'm a terrible writer, it's that I seem to have self imposed ADD. I can't write for more for more than ten or fifteen minutes (sometimes a lot less) before I get inevitably distracted by something. Be forums, or Facebok, or Twitter, or Reddit, or chatting, or chewing ice (I should probably knock that off before I ruin my teeth). Then, my productivity goes out the window, and since it's such a long way to the ground, I don't have the cojones to go out after it.
I don't honestly think I have ADD, or if I do it didn't really present itself until I started writing seriously. I did just fine through all of grade school, graduated top 10% of my class! Admittedly, I was a bad college student, but that had nothing to do with my attention span. I just discovered early on that I could make Cs by basically showing up and taking tests and my slacker attitude decided that was just fine. Granted, I always found a way to ace my creative writing classes no matter what.
My, and probably many others, self imposed ADD is probably just a symptom of our highly interconnected internet lifestyles. Thank you to all that shit I mentioned in the first paragraph. I've tried disconnecting my internet adapter (yeah, I'm far too nerdy to just pull the damn plug!), but I always felt compelled to switch it back on after twenty or thirty minutes just in case I missed anything, and the ironic thing, 99% of the time, everything I see when I return from my brief internet hiatus would have been completely worth missing. This is probably part of the reason I gravitate towards being such a night owl. In the dead of night, The forums, Twitter, Facebook all slow to a crawl.
So, I start writing and the minutes turn into an hour, and then the hours turn into more hours. They roll by and I realize that I've really only gotten about 1000 words done. At which point, I pull out my trusty leather strap I purge myself, I purge myself hard. Okay, I'm not (that) crazy.